New screensavers for the BAU
by Evelyn92
Summary: An office argument between Hotch and Emily leads to the BAU getting some new screensavers


Derek and Spencer were sitting at their desks in the bullpen when they heard the screaming match that was going on inside Hotch's office between Hotch and Emily, who had currently been in there less than ten minutes. The argument, whatever it was about was getting quite loud as several other people at their desks looked up towards the office in question trying to listen in, Hotch was well known to lose his temper and put the fear of god in someone from time to time, but this was different, this was Emily. Dave and JJ both came out of their offices to see what was going on. This was also different as not only is it basically a known fact that Hotch and Emily never fight, they know each other too well, but Emily was actually fighting back. An equal sided argument was unprecedented in the Unit Chief's office.

"Mom and Dad are fighting. If they divorce I'm living with Mom." Spencer joked, although equally baffled by the ongoing fight. He was trying to filter through every argument between Hotch and Emily, trying to figure out if this was indeed a one off, and yes, he concluded, it is a first for them. Unless they do it without the team knowing, which would not be surprising as those two are able to have a fully fledged conversation just by looking at each other with their secretly coded facial expressions. God knows how they did that, it's like they are telepathic. Which of course is impossible, although some studies have shown that in twins there is sometimes a basic telepathic bond...

"Mamma's boy!" Derek called back at him, although not taking his eyes off the office door for a second.

If it was possible, the shouting seemed to get even louder so that Dave and JJ who were standing on the catwalk at the same level as the newly fascinating office were starting to be able to distinguish certain words. It wasn't sounding pretty. They were all aware of Emily's ability to cuss like a sailor, and by now Hotch will have become very aware of it. Then the door to Hotch's office was flung open and slammed against the inside wall of the office, bouncing off it. Yeah it was bad. Hotch and Emily were now clearly visible and audible to all who were witness to this historical moment. Emily was gesturing wildly with her hands while Hotch had his armed crossed over his chest holding a file in his left hand.

"Stop being so unreasonable! Why the hell do you have to be so stubborn all of the time, who are you trying to prove something to?"

"How am I the unreasonable one? It's called paperwork Emily! Or have you forgotten what that is?"

"Of course you are unreasonable, it's called lunch, you know when people have a break to eat. Food is a necessary thing you know. Don't you dare! I do as much work as everyone else here, don't you dare question my work, I do my job and you know that I'm good at it, so don't go telling me I don't know what paperwork is. Just because it's all you live and breathe, you are aware there is a life outside of this office aren't you?"

"Just because my idea of fun isn't drinking in a dirty bar or watching stupid films that aren't even good; you know watching Christmas films in the middle of June isn't right, you can't watch a seasonal film in the wrong season, it doesn't make sense!"

"You're criticizing my tv habits? You sit there and profile childrens tv show characters and get angry when you can't categorize Spongebob, what kind of moron does that? It's for children, it doesn't have to make sense Hotch! If that's your so-called life-outside-the-office, you can keep it. I prefer to actually do something rather than sit there and shout at a yellow square!"

"That damn yellow square doesn't have any logic to it! How can he have a job and a house but can't drive and has no parents? That is only going to confuse kids, not entertain them. Spongebob doesn't have to deal with some annoying co-worker trying to force him to go eat lunch with her while he's trying to work, lucky guy!"

"Number one, Spongebob doesn't have any co-workers, only Mr Krabs who is his boss and so technically not a co-worker so you don't technically have a comparison there. Number two, are you seriously comparing yourself to Spongebob? And finally, HE IS A CARTOON SPONGE!"

"This is insane!"

Derek was staring at the pair incredulously, were Hotch and Emily, two gun-wielding FBI agents really arguing over a cartoon? He hadn't known until now how involved in each other's lives they really were, to allow Emily to yell at him over Spongebob, they must spend a lot of time together outside of work and this is especially surprising since the man never let anyone in. 'There really are some strong feelings between those two.'

"Spongebob is perfectly sane, you are the insane one here Hotch. Why won't you just go and eat lunch? Are you trying to slowly starve yourself to death?"

"No need to starve myself with you around, I can't even remember the last time I actually got to eat my meal without you stealing half of it."

"Are you calling me fat?" Every single male in the bullpen cringed at that, they all knew the perilous repercussions of that question.

"When did I say that? No you are not fat, you just steal my food! Maybe that's why I don't want to eat lunch with you, I would actually like to enjoy my food for once."

"Fine, mister-i'm-so-possessive-over-my-food I won't eat with you ever again that way you can be sure that your food is safe from my fat hands!"

"I never said you were fat! Why are you over-reacting so much over this? I don't want to go to lunch today, I have a file to finish."

"No, no, it's fine I understand Hotch, you don't have to eat with me anymore, I can go eat with someone who actually wants to spend time with me. I'll leave you to your precious files. You do realise they are just pieces of paper? But clearly you prefer them to me. That's fine. Do whatever the hell you want Hotch."

"Come on, please be reasonable, I want to go to lunch with you I just can't until I finish this." Emily got an evil glint in her eye at that, Hotch was worried, he had seen that look before and it never ended well for him. Emily grabbed the file he was holding, that seemed to be one pen stroke away from being his new lover, and threw it out of the office into the bullpen, it landed somewhere on the floor near to Anderson who looked at it with nothing but pure fear. "What is wrong with you? You can't just go around throwing files about!"

"You said you couldn't eat because of it, well now it's gone so you don't have it to do any more. Problem solved. Now let's go eat!" Emily declared cheerfully.

"No. Just because it has moved places does not mean it has disappeared. You are acting like a child Emily, you're worse than Jack!"

"Speaking of Jack, if you don't move your ass right now and come to lunch I am going to introduce Jack to Don't Cha by Pussycat Dolls, lyrics and dance moves included." She had him there, Jack did like it when Emily taught him things, no matter what it was.

"You wouldn't." Hotch said glaring at her, but Emily had become immune to his trademark glares long ago.

"Wanna bet? Who do you think taught him that you can only crack an egg by throwing it on the floor or at the wall or at you?" Emily was grinning at this.

"Dammit Emily that was you! I couldn't buy eggs for two months in case he did that again."

"That was pretty funny." Emily let out a laugh as she remembered Hotch complaining about not being able to eat eggs for breakfast any more.

"So not funny Em. Fine, let's go eat lunch before I find out what else you have taught my son."

JJ had moved closer to Dave in order to have someone to analyse the situation with, the duo in question seemed like they knew each other inside out, even JJ had no idea that Emily had met Jack let alone spent time with him. This friendship of theirs must be pretty serious if Hotch was allowing Emily near his son, who he protected with everything he had. This was certainly not an argument had between co-workers, maybe between friends, but only lovers would know each other this well and be able to get under each other's skin this way. But Emily had been firm on that point, they were only friends, although JJ could tell that Emily obviously wanted it to be more than that with him. JJ whispered to Dave; "Are you sure they aren't more than friends?" Dave was not surprised by that question in the least, he himself had asked it many times, but he had been watching the pair for months and he would have known if they were indeed more than they said. "Very sure, I would know."

"No."

"No? What? You have been telling me to go to lunch this whole time and now you don't want to?"

"No, I don't want to go eat with you, I want to go eat with someone who wants to eat with me, not because they feel they have to."

"I do want to get lunch with you!"

"No you don't. All you can think about right now is that stupid file, I'm not going to sit there and eat while you're picturing the damn file Hotch, I won't be second to a piece of paper!"

"You won't be second to a piece of paper, huh? What about when you read those pathetic celebrity gossip magazines, you seem to zone out and I don't get a word in."

"You don't get a word in? You always get a word in, we always talk about you, everything is about you! What about me huh? We never do anything I want to do, I do so much for you and you do nothing for me in return. I'm not your servant Hotch, you don't pay me enough for that."

"What are you talking about? We do stuff you like. Like, well, um... I always get you that Ben and Jerrys ice-cream you like."

"Again with the food. Are you calling me fat?"

"Dear God no! I am not calling you fat, you are in no way fat, you are beautiful, you insane woman! Fine, if you think I'm being selfish, we'll do something you want to do. Like get lunch, oh wait, you don't want to do that!"

"Oh I am getting lunch, just not with you. You want to sit in your office like a miserable lemon with your files for company, be my guest."

"No, I'm going to lunch, with or without you." Hotch moved to leave his office behind Emily when she turned around and pushed her hands against his chest so he was being forced back into his office. "Emily, let me out of my office."

"No, you want to be with the files, you stay with the files, you deserve each other."

"This isn't fair, I can leave my office if I want to, you can't tell me what to do! I'm hungry and I'm going to get lunch, which I will eat in my office, see files and lunch, I can actually compromise unlike some people."

"You, compromise? That'll be a first. Whatever, I don't care anymore, eat lunch or don't eat lunch, see if I care. I was clearly wrong in thinking that as your friend, you would want to eat lunch with me. Was I wrong in thinking that I am your friend too, do you even like having me around? No, please don't answer that." Emily had gone from being angry to flat out sad, she cared so much about him, couldn't he see that she was only trying to make him happy? Or didn't he care? She turned away from him and walked down the stairs to the bullpen, towards her desk while trying very hard not to look at any of her co-workers who were watching them like nothing as interesting as this had ever happened before. It was bad enough that they were arguing in the first place, but the fact that it was over a personal matter and also in front of everyone they worked with was just humiliating. "Aaron, I'm taking a long lunch now. If you want to stay in your office, check behind your coffee machine there is something for you to eat there. See you later." Emily went to her desk to get her coat and purse, which meant that she didn't see Hotch going into his office and retrieving what was behind the coffee machine, it was a small lunch box full of his favourite snacks. She knew him so well. When had she done this? A smile crept across Hotch's face, she really was amazing.

"Thank you Emily!" He called from inside his office, he walked out onto the catwalk as she turned and leant against her desk to look at him. "That is very sweet of you."

"Yeah..well..." She said nervously, staring down at her shoes.

"Well what Emily?"

"I love you Aaron." Emily shouted up at him. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage.

Hotch stared down at her from the catwalk outside his office and was looking at her like she'd gone raving mad and just declared that the world was ending in an hour or something similar. Without a second thought he ran down the stairs and over to Emily. He pulled her towards him and crashed his lips onto hers, she kissed him back with just as much passion. They seemed to have forgotten where they were, as the entire office continued to stare at the pair as they got into a very heated make-out session against Emily's desk in full view of everyone. It took them a long while to break apart, but when they did it probably wasn't physically possible for either of them to look happier. Hotch brushed Emily's hair back from her face and stared into her eyes.

"I love you too Emily." She smiled back at him with a huge grin before blushing furiously when she saw Derek and Pen giggling at her phone, which Emily was guessing now held a photo of her and Aaron kissing. 'Brilliant, the BAU are getting new screensavers.'


End file.
